Erin Nestor

Erin Nestor was born on May 16, 1966, to Maureen (Cooney) Nestor and Tom Nestor in Fort Wayne, but she'd prefer that it wasn't noted, as she was too little to remember and she never particularly cared for Indiana. Erin did hold fond memories of Mt. Washington and the Nestors' house on Shangrila, where she was joined by her younger siblings, Terry and Jennifer. She forever claimed Ohio as her home state, a true Buckeye, but recalled a free-wheeling adolescence in Louisville. Also, tornado drills.

Terry maintains that Kentucky is where Erin began her dominance as an athlete, coached by her Mom, establishing excellence in basketball and softball at St. Bernard’s. She continued this athletic streak when the family returned to Madeira, OH, where Erin was the captain of many Maureen-coached teams at St. Gertrude. Erin would tell you she did this all to wear tube socks. Also that she went to prep school, Ursuline Academy, class of 1984, where she was the president of at least one of her classes. Erin more recently followed in her Mom's pursuit of pickleball, but would admit she never got quite as good.

At Ohio University, Erin quickly assembled an eclectic, tight-knit group of friends. She moved with Adam Green to Chicago post-college, convinced Terry to join her, and over seven years, made even more life-long connections. In 1994, she and Jen then headed to the West Coast with another caravan of comrades. She was to her friends, cousins, and siblings the ultimate instigator of adventures: come along with me, she would tell us.

It was in Seattle that Erin met her wife, Rebecca Denk, and they eventually, finally got together in 2004, although she wasn't her date to Jen and Dave Waddell's wedding that September. Erin & Rebecca married in 2009, in front of intrepid family & friends traveling to Puerto Vallarta during the swine flu, and again 5 years later on the same date after WA legalized gay marriage. And like many Seattle gays, they bought a mid-century modern condo in Palm Springs to escape the gray. Erin retired full-time with Rebecca and dogs Harley and Buoy to her dream house in Poulsbo just a year ago.

After jobs in gay publishing and arts admin, Erin achieved the Irish American dream: she opened, owned, and operated a bar, the Bottleneck Lounge. This would be followed by a whiskey joint on Capitol Hill, Tommy Gun, and Two Doors Down, a beer and burger restaurant just down the block from B'Neck on Madison. Her spaces were invitations to gather diverse people in the warm embrace of community, with a great beer or cocktail, and shared experience under the watchful eye of a wise barkeep. Unsurprisingly, many regulars became dear friends, a few employees became family, and Erin became more widely loved.

As one of her friends observed, Erin had all the gifts of the Irish: blazing red hair, a knack for storytelling, an ironic sense of humor, and a fondness for good beer. She was an avid music fan throughout her life, had an incredible design aesthetic, and collected so much glassware that her wife doesn't know what to do with it all. All of us are grateful for the tremendous love and fantastic times Erin cultivated and shared generously.

Erin died peacefully at home, surrounded by family and friends at a party in her honor on January 1, 2026. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer this October and would emphatically reveal that it was NOT the heavy smoker gene mutation. She is preceded in death by her father, Tom Nestor, who treated her as the prodigal daughter: always welcomed home to a feast of love, and by beloved dogs Shep and Duke. Erin is survived by her wife Rebecca, her mother Maureen, her sister Jennifer and brother-in-law Dave, niece Sadie Mae, brother Terry and sister-in-law Brigid, nephew and niece Conor and Cara, sister-in-law Amylynne Denk, nephew and niece Jaren and Lyrah Cascino, and by so many friends we can't possibly list them all (platonic quad forever).

A celebration of Erin's life is planned for Saturday, March 14, at the Bottleneck in St. Patrick's Day tradition. We will be laughing and drinking, and having a party.